Pregnancy loss is one of the most devastating events that can happen to anyone. Mothers may be traumatized over losing a new member of the family and find it extremely difficult to move on.
Experiencing a miscarriage can either make you stronger or it can leave a lasting impact that keeps you from healing emotionally. As you deal with this painful loss, there are things you should and shouldn’t do to ease your grief.
Do
Grieve your loss
Acknowledging and talking about the heartbreak of losing an infant is essential to your recovery. Grieving is a normal and natural process to something as serious as a miscarriage, and disregarding the pain you’re feeling does more harm than good.
Get the right support
Whether you’re a single parent or partnered, surround yourself with people who will offer the support you need. If you’re married or are in a relationship, you and your partner should be together during this difficult time. Grieving alone may work for some people, but for an intense time of grief such as a miscarriage, it’s necessary to come to terms with your loss while in the company of loved ones.
Seek professional help
Some women who have suffered a miscarriage are able to cope and move on in time. But many need counseling. If the emotional suffering becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to seek the help of professionals who can help you understand and deal with the complex emotions you’re having and offer you the best way to move forward with your life.
Don’t
Blame yourself
Most miscarriages are caused by medical conditions such as chromosomal abnormalities (which occur because of a problem with the egg’s or sperm’s chromosomes during embryo formation), thyroid problems, and unavoidable physiological complications.
Moreover, one in four confirmed pregnancies ends in miscarriage. In other words, miscarriage occurs due to factors beyond your control, and blaming yourself is not the way to cope with your loss.
Keep grief to yourself
To cope with the loss of your baby, it’s important to turn to loved ones for support. Your partner may be the first person to care for you, but there are others who may reach out, offer soothing words of comfort, keep you company, and ease your suffering.
If you’re the partner, friend, or loved one of someone who suffered a miscarriage, don’t…
Offer unsolicited advice
Choose your words carefully. Rather than saying things like ‘I know exactly how you feel’ or ‘You’ll get over it’, simply saying you’re sorry for the loss or keeping a grieving mother company is enough. You can also offer practical support such as taking care of her daily needs, like preparing meals and tending to her other needs. Small gestures such as giving her flowers will also offer some comfort.
Recovery may take months or years because there’s no single, ‘right’ way to grieve. The most important thing is to go through the grieving process on your own terms, and seek help when it becomes necessary.
If you’re struggling to deal with the loss of your infant, therapy can offer the professional support you need. Chicago mental health professionals Meridian Psychiatric Partners specialize in the treatment of women who have suffered from pregnancy loss. Get in touch with our providers.
